I Am An Atheist Who Believes That God Resides In Me!

In Truth-I Never Searched God, I Just Invariably Believe In His Existence,

I Tacitly Assumed He Dwelled In Shrines & In Those Snow Clad Secluded Mountains. 

Whenever I Confront His Idol, I Feel His Presence In Those Inert But Lively Eyes.

Yes, Visiting Temples Is Pristine, But I Always Feel There Is A Chasm Between Me & Him!

 I Speak To Him… But Is He Really Present Around & Listening To Me?

There Is Never An Instantaneous Sign To Prove That We Are Having A Dialogue. All I Hear Is My Own Voice Of Suspicion.

Over The Years I Grew & Subconsciously So Did This Lacuna Of Faith In Me.

Nevertheless, I Still Continue Bowing Down To Pay Homage To Him & I Even Hum Popular Hymns That Praise Him.

I Read The Epics & Heard About His Life In Folklore.

As A Boil Over I Brand Him As A Super Human Who Trudged The Less Travelled Road. He To Me Is The Initial Tutor of Virtues;

He Who Encountered Life In It’s Naïve Form No Different From Anyone Of Us.

Alike Us He Felt Happy & He Also Felt Sad; Few Roads He Walked Were Royal But There Were Also Times When The Path He Trekked Was Rough & Mystifying!

This Truth Reinforces My Belief That Praying To God Is Not A Way Out Of A Desperate Circumstance;

He Per Se Wasn’t Spared By Nature… ‘The Universe’ From The Chores Of Life.

He However WAS A Paragon Of Faith To Me; An Epitome Which Had A Face!

So My Belief In Him Is ‘Half Baked’.

Now That I Have Saddled Up My Life & Am Experiencing Living It; I Have Learnt To Reason Things. Experience Has Made Me Mull & Rationalize Every Emotion & Action.

I Do Believe In Paranormal & The Fact That Our Universe Is Full Of Diversity & All Of Our Lives Are Connected. And One Thing Leads To Another; All This Fuels My Belief That There Is Indeed Some Kind Of Super Power.

Who Is He & Where Is He…Is One Riddle.

But I Think I Have Found An Answer.

I Have Realized That There Are Two Instances When I Infallibly Feel God’s Presence; So Close That I Am Talking To Him Fearlessly & Without Any Inhibition.

It Happens When I Encounter Pain; It Happens When I Encounter Peace!!

When I Am In Pain; I Seek God,

When I Am At Peace; I Find God!

When I Stand On A Mountain Top, When I Am Relaxing In The Breeze Of Sea…Or When I Praying In A Quiet Temple-  I Can Hear His Voice From Within!

When I Am Shattered & Broken; When I Am Hurt & Helpless; When All The Other Voices Around Die- I Can Hear His Voice From Within!

A Voice So Clear; I Feel It Is The Real Me; One Who Knows Me Just Like How A Mother Would Know Her Child. The Person Within Not Only Knows My Strengths & My Follies, He Also Knows What Is Good & What Is Bad For Me. The Feeling Of His Presence Is So Real & Divine; It Needs No Signs! His Voice Leaves Me Secured & Strong Like Never Before.

“I May Be Physically Alone But I Am Never Really Alone!”

Yes The God Resides In Me; It’s My Spirit; I Just Need To Close My Eyes & Summon Him When I Am At Peace Or In Pain. My Word Is His Command & He Surfaces To Comfort Me & Talk To Me!

Having Said That I Really Can’t Call Myself An Atheist!

Because I Am Atheist Who Believes That God Resides In Me!

If I Want Something I Rather Ask Me,

If My Life Is Going Awry, I Rather Have Faith In Me!!