Tuesday, 31 January 2012

Do Your Own Thing!

The Difference Between Love & Marriage Is As Much As Variance Between Fun & Responsibility. 
You Can Either Have Fun With A Person Or You Can Take His Or Her Responsibility. 
Damn!! As They Don’t Cohabit. 
Wisdom Lies In Being Independent.......... OK !!!!!! Not Like Being Single. 
We Need To Mind Our Own Business, Take Our Own Responsibility………….Saddle Up Our Own Life.
Let Not Fun Be Sporadic In Our Lives, Instead Make Responsibility Play The 2nd Fiddle.
Just.... Do Your Own Thing!

Monday, 30 January 2012

I Love To Travel. In fact, I Am In A Constant State Of Flux.

I Love To Travel. In fact, I Am In A Constant State Of Flux.
So What If Time & My Pocket Does Not Permit Me To Experience This Wonderful World. I Have My Best Friends- My Books.
We Have A Give & Take Relationship. I Carry Them & They Carry Me.
I Carry Them When I Am Mobile, Awaiting & Onboard Flight Or Train. And They Carry Me When I Am Grounded & Based.
It’s Just a Matter of Which Book I Pick.
If I Want To Be In Afghanistan- Kite Runner It Is………..Italy, Eat, Pray ….Love It Is.  If I Want To Be On A Sea Voyage- Life Of Pi  It Is. 
It's A Time Machine, Taking Me Back And Forth From The Present.

Sunday, 29 January 2012

It Is Far Too Easy To Dump Than Living With A Feeling Of Being Dumped!

When The Inevitable Is Inevitable…
And You Don’t Like It….
Let It Go…….
Don’t Hold On To It………
Don't Try Too Hard.....
Let The Ball Be In Your Court…………..
Your Heart May Ache……
And Your Mind May Churn………..
But Remember Always, It Is Far Too Easy To Dump Than Living With A Feeling Of Being Dumped!

Friday, 27 January 2012

Super Power: Book Review!!

  • Super Power? Heavy Dose, It Took Me Months & A Break From The Book Per Se To Finish It! All The GDP Spend Talk, The Highway Projects, Health, Education, Infrastructure Development………Phew!! In A Layman’s Language “The D’s Of India i.e. Democracy, Diversity & Decentralization Will Always Ensure That The Reforms & Development In Our Country Remains Lopsided. As Far As China Is Concerned, It Is Coercive & Is On A Hurried Mission. The Development Is At The Expense Of Its Own People Seemingly To Impress America & To Beat Down India. I Mean...... They Started This Hare & Tortoise Race. India By & Large Is A Country That Believes In Peace In Every Which Way!"

Steve Jobs RIP!!

  • This World Has LEGENDS & It Has People. These Legends Strive To Be Different ….So To Bring Difference In Our Lives & Sometimes They Even Bring A Change That Permeates The Globe At Large. Are These Legends God’s Special Children? NO. 

  • It Is We Who Make Them Superlatives For Touching Our Lives In A Very Emotional Way Whether It Is Technology, A Piece Of Art Or An Act Of Philanthropy. It Takes A Lot... To Stand Out Among Tens, Hundreds, Thousands, Millions & Billions. They Cannot Be Merely Lucky. They Are The Ones Who Bring Life To Words Like Determination, Devotion, Patience, Perseverance, Vision & Mission. But In The End It’s Their Creativity Which Stands Tall Among All Their Virtuous Attributes Coupled With Childlike Conviction In What They Want To Bring Forth To The World.

Thursday, 26 January 2012

Review: The Descendants!

Alexander Payne, I am not so pleased to inform you but your ‘Satyajit Ray Inspiration’ gimmick to pull us Indians in the multiplexes apparently does not seem to be working.  First day, first show and I felt like I had bought the whole movie show.  

Even so, ‘The Descendants’ is a movie about life- its pangs and its prizes.  
Life’s the same for everyone, there’s no such thing as greener pastures. Work, spouse, children, family, friends…once in a while a lot of mess up happens around one of these support systems which results into heartaches or nervous breakdowns. It’s how you sort this disorder that makes the life worthwhile. You see, only after you clear this mess that you realize that life is indeed so beautiful.

The movie preaches us the perfect family formula which goes like, love your family……love your spouse or they will love someone else. Communicate with your children now, or later you will need to do a hell lot of talking. The dialogues of the characters are so straight from the heart, no manipulation ….no jazz. Just as exact how one would feel in a particular situation. And boy let me tell you, honesty is funny- it tells how crazy we are inside unlike the appearances we generally keep up. It’s a story so real you almost feel you could play a part in it without taking any lessons on how to face the camera.

And George, you are getting old……………..but you look experienced. ;-)
No amount of grey hair or wrinkles can take that manly charm away from you.
You Are Handsome!!  No matter what clothes, what expression …….what angle!!

Monday, 23 January 2012

And The Passport Officer's Eyes Tell Me " “Madam, The Ordeal Is Far From Over. I Will See You Again.”

The two best indicators of risen population in India are Railway Stations and the Passport offices. And both are apparently fraught with crowd of aspirants & migrants. I will leave the railway station aside and talk about my recent experience in the passport office. For starters appointment in passport office is a test of perseverance & optimism. Patience, because no matter what time you reach there, a long queue is already present. You feel it’s almost omnipresent. & No matter how much you try to think positive of the outcome with your passport work, there is always an iota of doubt that bothers you. Am I carrying all the documents, will the time run out before my application is accepted, will the officer be in a good mood………..what will be the new process that I will learn today and what will be the new document fact that the passport officer will unlearn today? As you stand in the queue of greener pasture seekers……..i mean literally as well as the old adage way, you realize that travelling in not everyone’s cup of tea. Over a period of time I have put travel in the category of birth, death and marriage. It’s fated. The seven seas ………only destined ones can cross them. The chosen ones could be anyone from any class, creed or society but there is one thing common among them. They are predestined. So………. you get in the queue with your water bottle(Do's) and iPod (Must), and struggle with the doubts in your mind while you count seconds as the queue drags slowly to the destination window.  Intermittently your attention is diverted by the folding & unfolding of plastic bags. Funny isn't it!!! We Indians are so weirdly obsessed with the idea of keeping our important/Xeroxed documents in plastic bags publicizing the mediocre shops selling garments for gents, women and children. The sight of this people around carefully removing their valuable credentials and then neatly folding their plastic bags casts a doubt on whether our life style has really improved or we are still in the TATA, BATA & Amin Sayani old economy days. 

The wait is endless, and in the heat of moment the people in queue become reformers, as they devise strategies and suggestions to improve the TAT. The employees on the other hand seem oblivion to this dire state. In fact they are in much worse situation than applicants, collecting documents from thousands of people and answering to the same silly queries and anticipation of the applicants EVERYDAY.  Their job is no less than breaking bricks i say. In the given scenario a cheerful employee is a far cry. I wonder if a soft skills trainer can help………………..it would surely be a litmus test for him. I am shook off from my thoughts as my daughter’s name is called. After successfully clearing 2 queues with the black and white I was carrying, I enter the officer's cabin high on optimism . But NO............. something is AMISS. He lowers his spectacles and gives me the helpless look (I am just following the process) and his eyes tell me, “Madam, the ordeal is far from over. I will see you again.”            

Sunday, 22 January 2012

Nothing Is Ever As It Seems. Everybody Says “I Am Fine.”

  • Everyone Has Mastered The Art Of Disguise.

  • ‘Lance Armstrong Survives Cancer & Wins Tour De France In The Fastest Time Ever.’
  • ‘Andre Agassi Separates From Brooke Shield …..Later Marries Steffi.’

  • Reads So Simple!!

  • When You Read Their Life In Their Own Words You Realize That God Has Not Spared Anyone From The Adverse Side Of Life………….Failure, Loneliness, Desire To Be Loved…Desire To Be Understood…Mistakes….Test Of Patience…..Snubbing….Humiliation. Everyone Goes Through All Of This & More!!

To Top It. These Special People Live In Houses Made Of Glass…………..With Their Life Being Reported By Pen Which Is Mightier Than Sword. Ostensibly They Have To Be At Their Best No Matter What.

Nothing Is Ever As It Seems. Everybody Says “I Am Fine.”

Pain Is Inevitable. Pain Has No Scale. Pain Is Simply Pain.

Pain Is Something We All Go Through. We Endure It. And We Come Out Of It. But The Most Amazing Thing We Humans Do With Pain Is We Forget About It As If It Never Happened. All The Mothers Would Agree With Me On This One...... Had We Remembered The Pain This World Would Not Be Such A Populated Place.

We All Want To Overcome It, To See The Brighter Side Of Life.

I Want To Live 100 Lives In 1 Life !!

  • I Want To Go Latitudes. India, Paris, Italy, Spain, Egypt, Brazil, Africa, New York. . . Feel The Dusty Heat Of Deserts & Chill Of Snow Clad Mountains. I Want To Go To The Lush Green Forests & Swim Under The Ocean. I Want To Meet Varied People, Many People. People Who Are This & People Who Are That. Befriend Them. I Want To Experience Their Life By Hearing & By Talking. I Want To Taste Their Food & Embrace Their Culture For That While.
    I Want To Live 100 Lives In 1 Life !!

Thursday, 19 January 2012

Single: To Be Or Not To Be!!!

Behold The Future Of Matrimony! 
Then People Pursued Wedlock For The Element Of Commitment & Now People Are Protracting It & In Some Cases Even Refusing To Take Vows To Enjoy Love & Longevity In A Relationship.  What An Irony! Commitment Has Become Dreadful & Derogatory; The Means Of Achieving Per Se Is By Not Committing. After All, It Takes 2 To Marry……..& The Rules Of The Game Are Pretty Conflicting!!!  Though one Is Alone, It’s Allegedly Better than Being two, The Number Signifying Conflict.

One Of My Friend’s FB Status Said “Single @ 30.” She Received One Interesting Comment On It, “Love Does Not Come From One Source Or From One Person, It Flows From Different Streams/Sources, We Have To Just Embrace It.” So True! However, Easier Said Than Done! Kindly Don’t Misconstrue, Different Sources/Streams Of Love As A Slideshow Of “That” Kind Of Relationship, It Simply Means Nurturing, Fulfilling & Enjoying Every Affiliation Around, Be It Your Friends, Family And Most Importantly SELF, Or Should I Just Say ‘Life’.

Well for me, I am a single parent; separated for...…well, it’s been a long while now. There is a divide in my mind, one part says get married.  How can you live like this forever? This is definitely not a traditional life & another (a Lion’s share) is too scared to change the ‘One opinion’ life style and become subservient to the new relations/responsibilities that it seeks.  To compound my muddled up mind, there Is This Sudden Spree Of ‘Don’t Get Married’ Advice Coming Especially From Committed Breed of acquaintance around, They strongly opine, “You Are Stuck With Your Blood Folks & Your Life Revolves Around Them. What You Watch On TV, The People You Socialize With…………… Your Likes & Your Dislikes” Yes, Marriage Is a Compromise, it is a loss of individuality; You Barter for Life Long Security & heredity. You are doing what you ought to do for the virtue of being born; you are helping the planet with custodians long after you are gone.

Marriage is One of Those Three Events Predestined to Happen In Your Life & Purportedly Only God’s Work (Significant, Isn’t It!). They say the Time & Place of Our Birth, Marriage & Death Is Fated. Now That Makes Marriage A Very Imperative Milestone In Our Existence.  And It Is Indeed! It’s a great feeling to be welcomed by someone when you reach home tired or even the existence of mere fact that someone is waiting for you. Can you imagine celebrating festivals with friends? No, it has to be with our people and at the place where we belong to. Isn’t it the best feeling in this world to be a parent; to see our children grow and be a part of their development process, to feel that unconditional love in them & to be responsible for them?  However, the Snag to Matrimony Is That This Landmark Comes Way Too Early in our life. The Societal Clock Ticks, The Pressure Mounts & Before People around Cast Doubts-You Give In. The Criteria’s Are Tangible- Appearance, Money & Stature, you tick the check boxes and get ready to embark on a journey from lonesome to twosome. However, the Reality Strikes When Flowers on the Bed Dries!  

The Best Age To Tie The Knot Is When You Are In Your Thirties. That’s Span Fair Enough to Figure out Your Life, What Is Best for You & Who Will Make You Complete. By Then You Have tried this & tried That, If Not Tried Gathered Enough Facts from Other’s Experience to Make the Optimal Choice. The difference between getting married before 30 & after 30 is that generally in either case you keep trying on relationships, but the former is road to somewhere & latter is a road to nowhere.

Ever wondered, having professionalism in our personal life! Family time (Dormant) is 9:00pm to 9:00am & office time (Active) is 9:00am to 9:00pm, there are extended office hours & compromised family hours. One of the major reasons why the marriages are going awry in today’s time is that we are not professional about our personal life. There are no reviews, no appraisals, no actionable feedbacks, no recognitions & no getaways to improve the family bonding. Even if trips are made it is performed as a duty.  Apparently husband and wives don’t have much to talk, but there are endless stuffs to squabble.

With marriage comes responsibility; the husband is the bread winner of the house & the wife’s duty is to take care of the living and the non-living things at home, hence both are on a different tangent altogether, what matters to one is hardly of any significance to another; their frequency is very difficult to  match.  The singleton on the other hand does both the duties. You see responsibilities are to be met by both, married or solo. The variance is that latter does it at his/her whims & fancies and not many sentiments have to be counted. Sounds Bliss!!!

What’s it like to be single? My transformation from being married to being single has shown me both the sides of coin. The first thing that I did as a sole parent was I went alone for a movie. The thought was forbidding but the experience was even better. Pretty much same was my reaction on the decision to separation.

The pre-requisites to enjoy your singlehood are:
 a) You should be gregarious. (Guess you are left with no choice but be social)
 b) You should love your own company.

It is not simple, to be on your own. The silence in your heart is not as much daunting as the silence when you come back home. Sometimes it makes you feel as if you are the last person left on this planet. On weekends & holidays you keep staring & scrolling the contact list on your phone wondering whom to call & then you change your mind assuming that friends would be all busy with their respective families. So you decide to wait for a phone call instead, but the gadget would just not buzz. Interestingly on reporting this to friends they say, “I was doing the same thing as you on weekend I just had few people around.” leaving you amused and baffled, “You have a family damn it, make use of it!” There is nothing more depressing than being sick and having no one around. God forbid if you have a ‘no nonsense’ neighbor than no one can save you from the agony that follows. Socializing also becomes so difficult at times especially the ones where having a spouse next to you is quintessential. If you don’t have one be ready to hear marriage sermons. Beware! Don’t get bogged down or get carried away with all those happy couples you see around. It is trickery you must not give in. Apparently, in the presence of a single person the couples sub-consciously value the person standing next to them like never before and tend to get more starry-eyed & cozy. And you miss looking good as one, with your better half. But what one misses the most as a standalone is the security & warmth that comes as a package only with marriage and the subsequent family it makes. As a singleton, you are your care-taker, you run your life, and as there is no back-up so there is no respite. You must always go on.
So, you are alone, alone …alone. I have realized that Facebook is for us singles. It is better to talk with its wall rather than talking with four walls at home, at least there is a response.

Once you learn to cope up with the cons of being single, and start accepting them as a part and parcel of the choice that you have made, you run the risk of becoming self-obsessed. It becomes your only way of life, the habit of being “single”. Accepting things makes life easy, you learn to entertain yourself. Make many friends instead of few (Sometimes no friend is also a welcome change), read books, travel, hone your hobby, work harder at job and earn a fun filled weekend full of new activities. And all this makes your life desirable. The haunted home becomes a meditation centre, where only peace prevails. Single is sexy, it is the coolest thing; the in-thing…isn’t it! On any given weekend, a normal couple would have wife giving a grocery list to her husband; he would get that job done. Perhaps, followed by a nap in the afternoon. Socializing with relatives far and near and maybe a movie or lunch/dinner to ensure peace at home front is maintained. Sometimes you may just want to ‘laze’ but when you have people back home waiting only for weekend, lazing is a privilege you cannot earn even after week long hard work. Also, I don’t understand this whole fuss about having a better half, with all I hear around it sounds more like having a bitter half. Ultimately no one can take the place of our friends; yes spouse is a big deal but if asked with whom you have the best fun? You may fake your reply but your mind will think of days & times with friends, where there are no inhibitions, you can just be yourself. As such the subset of the likes and dislikes of husband and wife is bare minimum, liking each other’s friends is a far cry, a very rare coincidence. Women generally get rid of all their friends for the sake of new relation and with that they expect their man to reciprocate, however it does not happen. So they end up envying them as ‘the other woman’ who is more tended to & favored. Bizarre isn’t it!

Even as I write this I am wondering so what is best, being single or following the traditional path. Can one maintain his or her individuality by being tagged to someone? Even to some extent. Guess the answer is a ‘No’. Then how does one enjoy life in that case. There’s only one life, and we should fulfill our bucket list as there may not be a second chance. So, what is the best course of action, get married & live a life where you multiply your responsibilities and find happiness in keeping everyone around happy or be single with all the fun and freedom……which seems hollow at times with no one who truly belongs to you and suffer the bouts of insecurity.

Life is not fair, but you have to live it to the fullest anyways. I leave my life in the hands of god, I give up, I cannot decide. One choice is unnerving and the other is the road less travelled.