Thursday, 11 July 2013

Don't Lean On..........


A She-Feminist Is Not A Lesbian; She Is Also Not A Person Who Is A Man-Hater. She Is Someone Who Believes In Social, Political & Economic Equality Of The Sexes.

Every Time I Read A Self-Help Book, One Constant Thought That Remains In My Mind As I Advance From One Chapter To Another Till I Reach The Last One Is, “I Know All Of This.”

Of Course I Know,

That I Must Focus On Building My Identity Without Feeling Guilty About Not Being Able To Give 100% To The Other Hat That I Wear.

That I Must Balance My Personal & Professional Life.

That I Must Learn To Negotiate Like A Man.

That I Must Not Position Myself In The Conference Room Where My Presence Is Barely Seen/Heard. I Must Raise My Hand Often @ Work.

That I Must Value My Own Work & Know My Own Worth.

That I Must Make Use Of The Open Door Policy.

That I Must Have A Mentor.

That I Must Speak The Truth Diplomatically.

That Pregnancy Does Not Put An End/Damper To A Woman’s Career.

That You Can Not Build Your Identity Without The Help Of Your Partner.

But Most Importantly, I Know That I SIMPLY CANNOT DO IT ALL.

LEAN IN: WOMEN, WORK AND THE WILL TO LEAD Talks About How The Above Can Be Achieved By Giving Examples Of Women/Woman Who Have/Has Done That.

As An Avid Watcher Of Desperate Housewives, In The Past I Had Concluded That The ‘ List Of Women’s Predicament’ Is Universal. (Barring The Issues Orbiting Around Girl Child In Our Part Of Continent.). But Then The Desperate Series Was Just Another Wonderful DRAMA. However, After Reading This Book I Once Again Believe That We Are All Sailing In The Same Boat.

I Wonder Whether This Apartheid -ness Is Psychological, Cultural ……..Or Is It Biological? A Man Or A Woman Are Both Care-Takers In Their Own Way But The Former’s Work Is More Tangible( Read GDP) & The Latter’s Job Has Intangible ROIs. I Mean You Can Be Busy In An (Unproductive) Meeting At Work But Come On No One Can Be Busy At Home. The Members Of Work-From-Home Fraternity Would Agree Being Snubbed Sometimes, “If You Are Home It Means You Are Not Working.” So The Point Is That The Plight Of A House-Wife Or A Home-Maker Must Be Even Worse.

I Am Completely Off The Tangent Here From The Core Message Of This Book, The Author Of The Book (COO Of Facebook) Sheryl Sandberg Envisages The Following Dream.

"A Truly Equal World Would Be One Where Women Run Half Our Countries & Companies And Men Run Half Our Homes. I Believe That This Would Be A Better World."

A Very Loud ‘DUH’.

Though The Author Begins The Book With An Acknowledgement That How Lucky She Is Compared To The Other Types Of Women; Right From Those Who Don’t Enjoy The Right To Education To The Kind Of Women Who Have Less Cooperative Or Uncooperative Partners And The Likes. She Gradually Moves On To Addressing The Ones Who Are Outside In The Field Or On The Desk & Dream To Become ‘A Queen Bee’ One Day.

This Book Is Hence For The One Who Is An Inherent ‘Shark’. ( It Will Be Prudent To Mention Here, That This Book Has Been A Birthday Gift To Me & The Word Shark Has A Positive Tenor.)

Being Indian, In The First Place I Shouldn’t Have Read This Book. But Now That I Have Read It And Grasped Whatever Is Applicable To Me. I Look At This Book From The Perspective Of Indian Geography, Where Women’s Participation In Workforce Is Declining. In That Case…. The Apt Lesson Would Not Be LEAN IN…..It Would Be ‘Don’t LEAN ON……..’

When It Comes To Being On The Top It Remains A Matter Of Consensus Between The Husband & Wife As To Who Will Make The SACRIFICE; Because One Of Them Will Definitely Have To Do So For The Sake Of Their Offspring. Irrespective Of The Gender Let The One Who Defines Achievement By His/Her Professional Performance, Work And The Other Who Has Passion Of Parenting, Stay-Home Or Take Up Flexible Or Less Demanding Jobs. (The Single Parent Will Have To Do Little Bit Of Both). So While One Sits At The Office Table Other Would Be Sitting At The Kitchen Table.

Happiness Has A New Definition From Woman To Woman. It Varies & One Must Strictly Stick To Things That Makes You Happy. If Staying At Home And Taking Care Of Family Makes You Happy…So Be It. But The Rest Of Us Need To Channel Our Efforts In Being Independent If Acme Is Not Our Aim. It’s A Bitter Truth But If You Have A Small Or Big Stature In Society(Or Otherwise If Your Husband Appreciates All Your Cooking & Caring) & Even If You Are Partially Independent Your Loved Ones Would Love You Even More As Their Dependant. And You In Turn Would Give The Desired Space To Your Partner.

Result: NO/Less Friction At Home.

An Even Better Situation Ofcourse Would Be Why Not Aim For The Top If You Have The Right Kind Of Education, Circumstance, Passion, Will & Family To Support You In Your Endeavour.

As I Write This I Am Reminded Of A Beautiful Bollywood Movie, ‘English-Vinglish’, Where The Female Protagonist Tacitly Yet Loudly Makes Her Identity Felt To Her Own Family-Members. The Same Dear Ones Who’s Individuality She Was Busy Making While Sacrificing A Huge Deal On Her Part.

Let The Conservative Know That A ‘Woman @ Work’ Doesn’t Imply ‘FREEDOM’. It Simply Means Becoming A 'Running-Plan B' For The Family. And In Worst Case Scenario, The Idea Is To Become One’s Own BACKUP Plan.

Sunday, 30 December 2012

Doodle The Do’s & Dreams Of 2013!

There Is This One Thing Really Cool About Sales Job; No Matter How You Perform When The Quarter Ends It Sucks In Your Fail Or Pass Status; With The New Quarter You Get/Have To Prove Your Mettle Yet Again. (* Conditions Apply)

New Is Always Exciting & Full Of Hopes & Curiosity. What’s In For Me?

Tonight At The Stroke Of Midnight Our Counters Would Be Reset To Zero. The Chapters Of 2012 Chronicling Our Triumphs & Tribulations Will Be Wiped From Our Respective Diaries & It Will All Set To Begin Again From Where It Stopped A Moment Ago. Before We Return Back To The Salt Mines To Commence Our Very Standard Life, Today We Sit To Ponder Over The Flashback Of ‘2012’ & Get Up With The Realization That Good Was Good But Bad Wasn’t That Bad.

Tomorrow We Will Experience The Feeling Of Being In ‘Alpha-State’, Mind In 2012 & Body In 2013 With A Heavy Baggage Of Reminisce & Resolutions. Some Broken Dreams Will Need To Be Mended Or Amended & The Soothsayer Talk That Went Completely Awry Will Need To Be Digested & Laughed. Hope & Patience Will Be Protracted Till The Stars Align With Our Dreams.

Nothing Has Changed But The Number Transition From 12 To 13 On The Score Card Of 21st Century; One Will Still Experience A New Sun Rise, A Feeling Of Waking Up On A New Day/Land & A New Lease Of Life. And We Would All Make Plans To Handle This New Year With Kid Gloves Like One Does On The Purchase Of New Cell- Phone Or A Car. “I Will Guard It. I Will Take Good Care Of It. I Will Make No Mistakes And Keep It Away From Scratch & Falls/Dents.”But No Matter What We Do The Inevitable Will Happen.  

As Your Inbox & Ears Get Inundated With New Year’s Best Wishes & Your Mind Goes Back To Last Year Same Time. You Will Smile.

“Good Will Surely Happen To Us All, But If Good Will Go Up It Will Also Come Down. Bad Is Not A Big Deal Either. Look Out For The Signs, You Will See A Greater Good!”

 HUA-Heard, Understood, Acknowledged!!!

Happy New Year People……. It’s Time To Doodle The Do’s & Dreams Of 2013. They Say What You Write Sees The Daylight.

Saturday, 6 October 2012

The Restricted Love..............

As You Grow Wise A Point Comes In Life,
When Matters Of Heart; Cuts Like A Knife.

Love-The Acme Of Emotional Bliss Is Not Trusted To Be Real,
Instead Through Conjured Characters In Movies We Get It To Feel.

A Time When What Is Reckoned Has To Be Cerebral?
Drooped & Bruised We Brush Aside Anything That Is Visceral.

Giving & Accepting Love, Attention & Affection Becomes A Task So Tricky To Deal,
If Love Is Present It Is Dissected Even After Knowing It’s Dearth Will Make Our Life So Still.

Why Does A Time Come When All The Sappy Talks & Holding Of Hands Emerges So Trivial,
Get Up, Work & Sleep; Why Does Life Become A Pursuit To Obtain The Essential.

Is There Anything More Comforting Than Being Held In Someone’s Arms?
Then Why Do We Feel Love Will Make Us Weak & Cause Us Harm?

Why Do We Live Our Lives In Our Mind & Physically Merely Exist,
To Live The Life We Truly Desire With Our Mind Why Don’t We Resist?

Why Do We Deceive Our Heart Which Makes Us Aware That We Are Alive?
Unwillingly But Bit By Bit Lumber The Road On Which Our Desires Lay Belied.

Sunday, 23 September 2012

I Looked Like A Relaxed Corpse In The Coffin!

I Looked Like A Relaxed Corpse In The Coffin. With A Surrendered & Satiated Smile. Eyes Closed, Body Stick-Straight & Hands Humbly Folded In The Anticipation Of Pleasure & Peace. The Curtain Was Drawn, The Lights Made Dim & The Noise Of Beauty-Business Chore Suddenly Diminished As The Door Went Shut. A Bandana Fastened & Re-Fastened My Fluffy Curls With A Silent Instruction ‘Do Not Disturb’.


 Foreplay Of Fingers On My Face. Her Ladies Fingers Got Wheels With Four Lumps Of Aromatic Mixed Fruit Cream; Landing Equi-Distance North-East-West-South. Her Fingers Skated Slowly Around My Eyes & Re-Defined My Nose Line; They Lost Balance Around The Cheeks & Went Round & Round Regaining The Equilibrium Only At My Chin To Redo The Whole Thing Again.

Mission Accomplished: Every Molecule Of My Face ACTIVATED.

She Drew Some Imaginary Lines On My Forehead To Pace Down The Processing Of My Mind; Gradually Bringing Down The Chatter Of My Mind To A Complete Halt. Then Just Like An Athlete Who Warms Up Before His Game She Flexed The Modest Flesh Of My Face In Preparation Of What Followed.

Mummification Of The Dwindling Youthfulness Of My Weary-Teary Face.

Sunday, 9 September 2012

We Are Immortal. We Will Always Be Together!!!

How Does This Sound?

We Are Immortal. We Will Always Be Together.

Damn!! Karwachauth Works!!

Does This Sound Reassuring? Decrease Even By An Iota The ‘Fear Of Death’?

Yes, The Story Of ‘Karma’ Is True. “ You Carry On Burden Of Debts From One Life To Another. With Each Life That You Go Through & You Didn’t Fulfill These Debts The Next One Will Be Harder. If You Fulfill Them You Will Be Given An Easy Life.”

I Am Perplexed…..

# 1 To Digest The Talking With Spirits Story; One Who Belong To “The Space Between Lives” Requires You To Believe In God. To Which I May Surrender After Eventually Reading Some More God Material & Some Strong Coaxing From Believers. But The Whole Appearance Of The Spirits, The Timing Of Their Arrival In The Story, The Ambience, The Husky.. Hoarse Voice & The White Clothes Is So Familiar, Flimsy & Filmy. It Kills The Credibility Of The Book (1.5 Million Copies Sold ) Named ‘ Many Lives Many Masters’

Dr Brian Weiss Claims, ‘The Book Is Based On A True Event’

Well………I Am A Little Disappointed DOCTOR, For Starters I Am Expecting ‘Nirvana’ Like A Salvation Sort Of. Secondly If I Am Not Good Enough To Permanently Become A ‘Free Spirit’ Or Whatever That Is Who Is Never Born Again. I So Strongly Wish To Have Change Of Country/Continent & Change Of Faces Around Me. (No Offence, But Different Is Good). It Will Keep Me Going Considering This New Learnt Fact “You Never Die”. And If I Am Lucky Enough Like The ‘Subject’ Of Yours In This Book & I Am Being Hypnotized In One Of My Many Lives; It Would Be Good To Learn I Have ‘Been’ NO ‘I Have Lived’ Around The World. You See I Love Travelling. A Lot…A  LOT…A LOT.

But What I Liked About Your Finding Is That “Humans Will Remain Humans”. We May Change The Gender Or Our Profession But We Would Bear Similar Face & As You Say Carry On Our Abilities(Bad For Those Who Don’t Have Many- HOPE Dashed) Along With Our Debts(Karma) Into The New Life.

Phewwww……….. No More Fear Of Transforming Into A Cockroach Or A Lizard In The Next Life. This Is One Consistent Thing I Say Is Good.

And That Is Reassuring Derivation!  

Friday, 17 August 2012


The ‘Cheer’ Drink Is Poured; 
The Mind Is Tamed & Cheated; It Is Put To Bed!
The Heart Is Alive Like Never Before, It Is Functioning Full Throttle At The Behest Of Music & Lyrics.  It Is Childlike; With No Inhibition & No Fear.

Jagjit Singh Is Singing, “Sarakti Jaaye Hai Ruqkh Se Naqab Aahista Aahista…………………” 

Glorifying The Miseries & Debacles Of Heart! The Failures Of Past Have Metamorphosed Into Accomplishments. One & All Are Celebrating Love, Hurt, Pain & Betrayal.

‘Woh Bedardi Se Sar Kaate ‘Ameer’ Aur Mein Kahun Unse………..Huzoor Aashista, Aahista………….”

The Heart Is Laying It All Bare. The Skeleton Of Unsung Emotions Is Out Of The Closet.
The Soul Souflle!!!!!

Janab Aashista...........Aahista!!!


Friday, 10 August 2012

Faith Is Contagious…

Faith Is Contagious…

 I Am Standing In A Human Jam; Sub-Consciously Blocking Every Other Sense & Sight As I Look In The Eyes Of ‘Krishna’.

It’s His Birthday & Fervor Has Gathered From All Walks Of Life To Celebrate & Congratulate ‘The God’; To Pray, To Ask For Forgiveness & To Show Gratitude For All Their Born Days.

In This Pristine Ambience Which Is Reverberating With Faith & Amidst The Mumble Of Prayers & Loud Chants Every Single Soul Has Elevated Itself From Its Flesh-y Dwelling; Away From The Chattering & Forceful Crowd; To Concentrate, To Convey & To Get Occupied In A Blissfully Intimate Conversation With God On His Special Day.

What A Divine Sensation!!! The Fragrance Of Hundreds Of Incense Sticks, The Sight Of Besotted Devotees, Bedecked God & ‘Diyas’; The Comforting To Ears Sanskrit Hymns.

Everything Present Is Radiating ‘Belief’ & Is Permeating It Deeper Into All Present. The Temple Has Become A ‘Cauldron Of Faith’.

You Can Almost Feel The Presence Of Congregated Faith. And Such Is The Power Of Passion & Conviction That If The Numerous Minds/Souls Present Conceived One Wish It Would Be Granted Invariably.

If The Twin Brothers ‘Focus & Faith’ Knock The Door Of Future, You Ought To Be Greeted By The Fruit You Desired.

As I Give A Last Glance To The God To Make Room For The Left-Waiting, His Effervescent Smile Does The Job Of Bringing A Sense Of Calmness To My Foggy Mind.

 It Says, “All Is Well”.